Topic - Seasons and Mental Illness.  Though it sounds a bit like “fake science”, there is research to support the idea that the season in which you are born makes you vulnerable to certain mental illnesses.

Those born in winter and spring have a 5 to 8 percent increase of schizophrenia and bipolar disorder, and those born in spring are more likely to develop depression.

Night owls are more likely born in spring and summer, while morning birds are born in fall and winter.

Curiosity, imagination and an outgoing personality are associated with summer birth.

The amount of daylight and seasonal variations in mother’s diet are likely to account for these patterns.

Now that you’re aware of these birth patterns, look around at your family and see if these patterns fit.

Family members may find comfort knowing that aspects of their personality are related to circumstances outside of their control.

Topic - Yawning, Empathy and Autism.  Young autistic children, about 1 to 4 years of age, do not respond to others’ yawning as much as their peers without autism.

“Responsive” yawning is seen in about half of adults even though most can’t resist a good yawn.

This lack of yawning with others represents problems with empathy. Those with autism have low levels of mirror neurons that allow us to imitate others.

It also impedes motor planning which inhibits the growth of playground and self-care skills such as shoe-tying, dressing and tooth brushing.

Persons with autism don’t “read” the social landscape or facial expressions. Their responses don’t reflect the emotions of their peers causing confusing and avoidance.

Anxiety increases their “misery index”. Understand the reasons for autism before judging the behavior.

Topic - Men and Dancing.  Decades ago, American Band Stand highlighted both the music and the athletic dancing of American teens.

Dancing skills have declined since that time, but the desire to dance has not. It’s not a secret that women are attracted to men who dance well.

It might be more about self-confidence and playfulness than actual skills, but women rate men who have rhythmical head, neck and upper body movement as sexier and more attractive than men who focus on lower body movement.

Perhaps women find lower body movements as being too crass and obvious and consider arm and shoulder movements to be more elegant and welcoming.

Whatever the reasons, take heed, fellas. Get some basic dance training so you’re comfortable with yourself.

And, considering that women are more attracted to men who wear red, you’ll have the ladies lining up at your door if you are dancing wearing a red shirt!

Get out there and have fun!

Topic - Tired Of Your Food Menu?  My Mom cooked for all 6 of us, the 5 kids and Dad every day of our lives.

She had a minuscule kitchen and a limited budget. As she got older, she would say from time-to-time “I’m really tired of food”.

Now that I’ve been in charge of the family menu for decades, I understand her sentiment.

We get stuck making the same uninspired dishes and our family balks if we make something new.

Too bad. Make something different. If they don’t like it, there’s always peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

Mom, you deserve the right to make something interesting and there are many, maybe too many, websites and magazines to inspire you.

It doesn’t have to be fancy. You know the flavors that your family prefers, so dive in.

Avoid those “5-star” recipes that require exotic ingredients and expensive machines. And, it doesn’t have to be a dinner dish. Make a new dessert.

Make something YOU like. Enjoy yourself for a change!

Topic - Your Emotional Time Zone.  Which emotional time zone do you live in?

The past? The present? The future?

There are those who say, “Get over it, that’s the past, move on”, but you can’t.

You can’t make sense of what happened, but you need to figure it out in order to move into the present and look toward the future.

It’s foolish to think that you can leave your past behind, but if you take up residence there, it’s not healthy.

You know what we say about history; if you don’t study it, you’re doomed to repeat it.

Get therapy to educate yourself so you can benefit from your mistakes.

If you live in the present, you may not improve yourself. You’ll stay stuck at the same level of emotional development.

If you live in the future, you’ll miss out on the lessons and joys of today.

Moving in and out of your emotional time zones will help you to achieve a healthy life balance.

It just makes sense to observe yourself and see which emotional time zone you spend most of your time.

Topic - How Schools Use Your Tax Dollars Against You.  Mike’s parents knew they had to do something.

He’s in the 9th grade, failing his classes and testing proved his reading was at the 3rd grade level.

It was time to get a lawyer and file a complaint against the district for failing to educate their child.

If Mike’s parents are lucky, they’ll find an effective lawyer who’ll take their case on a contingency basis.  If they’re unlucky, they’ll write retainer checks for many thousands of dollars and the process will likely drag on for years.

School districts, on the other hand, use your property tax dollars to wage war against you in this process. They hire attorneys at $400 an hour to keep your child from being educated.

There’s nothing fair here. Oftentimes, if districts know you don’t have the money to fund the fight, they’ll just wait you out. It’s a battle of attrition.

If you robbed a bank, you’d get a taxpayer-funded lawyer to protect your rights. What about the rights of our kids? It’s time to cut off this money to schools.

Topic - Emotional Decibels of Words.  “I hate chocolate mint chip ice cream”, Paul said.

His mother sharply said, “Paul, we don’t hate anything”.

Why do we accept some words more than others? Because nearly every word has an emotional component.

Whether we accept or reject words has to do with its emotional decibel level. Does the word cause a positive or negative response?

In writing or speaking, it’s important to choose the emotional tone that matches your feelings. A stronger position requires more intense words.

Heard the expression “A strongly-worded letter?” The person presented their position in a definitive fashion.

There is nothing to interpret about the message. Kids pick up on emotionally-charged words more than adults. They hear the emotions and not the message.

Words matter. Be careful. Use straight-forward, emotionally neutral language.

Get their attention, don’t over-talk, and don’t leave them guessing.

Topic - Smaller Scale of an Autistic Life.  It suddenly occurred to me when I was talking to a mom.

I was explaining how her autistic son would need a smaller college and a humane work environment once he graduates.

He has tremendous potential to overcome many of his symptoms because he has very strong language which allowed him to develop his intelligence.

Anxiety and severe attentional issues will be at play for a while.

She sighed and said, “I wanted him to have a bigger life”.

The “ah ha” moment struck. Those with autism often have a smaller “scale” life. They go to college, just not the huge schools with high profile football teams. They’re employed, but often have to start out lower on the ladder to prove their work.

Their lives might not be as publicly celebrated as others, but they can still achieve satisfaction in life. It’s their definition of satisfaction that counts, not yours.

Like most kids, it will take a while for them to chart their own course. They’ll get there in their own time.

Topic - Make Friends and Be Healthy.  People talk about “friends” differently from “acquaintances.

The more “friends” you have, however you define them, the healthier you are. The sense of belonging is essential to mental health.

On the hierarchy of needs, it’s just above the food, clothing, shelter, safety level. It’s just that important.

Having social support reduces depression, anxiety and encourages more effective problem-solving.

The shared emotional experience reduces sorrow and pain, enhances joy and celebration.

Of course, there’s give and take. The reciprocity gives us opportunities to participate in peoples’ lives which make us healthy.

Participating in and observing acts of kindness and compassion causes our brains to release oxytocin, sometimes called the “love drug” because it is activated through acts of love.

Be wary of those friends who take more than they give or who are toxic and not truly engaged with you. It may be time to move on.

Topic - Women and Smoking.  Women have a much harder time with quitting smoking and it’s a brain thing. 

When women smoke, dopamine, the reward and pleasure chemical is released rapidly into the part of the brain associated with habit formation. 

We know that nicotine causes 200% more dopamine to be released when you smoke.  But this “double whammy” of delivering so much dopamine to the habit forming center of the brain makes it difficult for women to quit. 

Women need a very different approach to reduce their tobacco use than men.  They may smoke because of habit and not a true addiction. 

An effective program may focus on their smoking behavior. 

When men smoke, dopamine is released into the part of the brain that reinforces the effects of drugs making withdrawal difficult for them.  Men continue to smoke to avoid withdrawal, so the patch system may work better for them. 

Understand the “why” behind your smoking before you decide “what” to do about it.